The Buh-Bye Email Opus

no offense meant and no hard feelings; please, with good humour and fun ;)

All,
For your reading enjoyment, complete with lack of punctuation and proper grammar and capitalization, not to mention total disregard for subjectless-run-on-sentence avoidance….

My final day at KSBW has come. oh wait…. crap. i mean KVIQ. no, KCCN. KGET? KFTY? UFW? dang. Anyway, today was my last day here at the stations. I’m a free man, sort of, off to work in the techie valley of Sillicon. Where the word website is not associated with an ‘icky spider home’, and they reward you in U.S. monetary units for your skills.

Sorry, that was cheezy. mmmmm cheez-its. All joking aside, I love cheez-its. No seriously, they’re like the greatest food item in cracker form. I like crackers — but cheez-its are like the King of Crackers, kindalike Robert Redford or Brad Pitt. Ritz crackers are also good. Or those TownHouse butter crackers, or even Wheat Thins now that i think about it….

but i digress….

I just wanted to say ‘thank you’ to everyone, even if I don’t know your name or you have no idea who I am. I apologize for not being a very friendly fellow. I tend to be a lot like a paranoid turtle when it comes to “people”. It’s been cool, I’ve learned a lot professionally, and am now ready for bigger challenges.

Oh, and might I suggest for your perusal, Salary.com and Payscale.com? Here you can help out your supervisors/managers by keeping track of your current worth. You can advise your immediate supervisor about any necessary changes to your current wages. Mark Mays tells me in his personally-signed emails that Clear Channel is good-hearted and cares about its employees, so they’d want you to be content and feel appreciated.

and now, my fellow FormerlyknownasClearChannelemployees, it’s time for:
INAPPROPRIATELY HUGE AND UNCALLED-FOR TEXT, WITH OBNOXIOUS COLOURING TO MAKE YOUR EYES BLEED!!!
(IN CASE YOU’RE IN THE RESTROOM READING YOUR CRACKBERRY: IMAGINE REALLY ANNOYING, HURT-YOUR-EYES TEXT IN CAPS)

and finally, since everyone seems to put their contact me stuff at the end of their ‘buh-bye’ email (as if a final email will somehow trigger the desire to talk to someone with whom you’ven’t had a meaningful conversation since they were hired), you can find me here:
My email:
kindalikesorta at gmail

My Neverly-Updated Website:
http://kindalikesorta.com
(clean and fun, work friendly)

and yes, the MySpace profile:
http://myspace.com/kindalikesorta
(also clean and fun, work-friendly)

email me any time, just go easy on the email forwards with the heavy attachments and/or virus..es. my computer is pretty crappy, and it might throw a fit. poor thing…

I got my computer at the local Wal-Mart* a few years ago, after surviving the evil glares of the “greeters” who are obviously forcing out what they think in their twisted minds is a “smile”, and then wading through the ocean of clothes, generic “soda” spills, opened toys, and little Mexican children passed out on overdose of chicken mcnuggets and hawaiian punch, while their parents gallavant about the store, buying crap, genuinely handcrafted by little Bangladeshi children.

Anyway, my computer sucks. it’s older than jennifer lopez will be when she finally realizes that she doesn’t sing or act goodly, denounces her evil, and converts back to being Latina. I now see the same computer model on sale for like 2 dollars and it comes with a free geo metro or something. I think Foster’s Freeze gives it away in their kids’ meals too: pink for the girls, blue for the boys.

oops, digressing……

So it is with a heavy heart that I bid you all a ‘fare thee well’. I mean that, from the bottom of my heart. You’re a great crowd, honestly, each one of you is a credit to your race.**

keep it chilled, homies.
          and God bless always,
:: efrain gomez ::

————————————————————————————- PostScript: And since the Invisible Turnover Monster might come and take away your job by the time you finish reading this, please accept these tokens of my appreciation: CareerBuilder.com and Snag-a-Job.com

* ever notice how wal-mart smells like butt, feet, mustard and cigarette all at once? or is that mcdonald’s? eeewwww…..that’s almost as revolting as madonna…..almost.

** Woody Allen, Scoop