My first day of recorded, mundane details of my experience at my new job!! Woohoo!!
December 18, 2006. Monday.
Today was my first day at my new job at Trend Micro. I started at 9am. That’s a plus. I have to drive an hour, but it’s still a plus. I’m the webmaster for the U.S. site. Anyway, I met Sheryl: HR Specialist by day and Jazz Singer/Performer by night. Yeah it’s kinda cool. She sings jazz and performs at local gigs. I never woulda thought. But then it made sense because her voice is pretty clear. I don’t know why that would have anything to do with it, but when she talks, she has a clear or resonant sound to her voice. So it just seems to make sense that she would sing. Then again, I’ven’t actually heard her sing, so I don’t really know if she sings goodly. She could sound like poop, and she just thinks she can sing. But no, she said she performs with a band. And that her prep time is like 4 hours before a gig. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a good singer either. Who knows? When she says “perform”, that might mean “at open mike nights at local coffee houses and malt shops”. Ha.
Anyway, I digress…
I also met Sylvia at the same time. It was her first day too. And we were in the new hire orientation together. She likes to cook. Chinese food and desserts. I don’t like chinese food, but desserts….I’m drooling now. So basically I’m gonna marry her. And I met Doug…his house is in constant remodelling and rennovation. How do you spell renovation? two n’s? I forgot what Doug does, but he’s a biggie at the company. He also participated in the new hire orientation. Anyway, i’m mentioning these weird details about these folks because we each had to mention something that was interesting about ourselves. Our name, previous position, how many years of experience we had in the industry, and then something interesting about ourselves.
When it came to me, I was like “uh.. well, uh… my name is efrin, but um.. it’s actually not really pronounced efrin, it’s just what everyone calls me. i guess it’s kindalike a nickname really… like no one can really pronounce my name correctly so they just default to vowel-ignoring and say efrin. but since its’ happened all my life, i seem to identify with the nickname. even my own mother calls me by this strange Anglicized version of my name “efrin”. what is up with that? my whole family does too! oh well, except for two of my ‘chicano power’ family members who refuse to call me by my slave name… for this i respect them. all the people i grew up with… everyone doesn’t even call be by real name!! which now that i think about it has severely dinked with my identity, because well, basically, my entire existence has been based on a lie…basically. i mean, i don’t even know who i am, really. i’m lost. i am just drifting and wandering in an ocean of blurry sadness, tossed and driven like a ship in a storm without a sail. i don’t even know where I am right now!! Where am I?? WHO AM I?? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!!!? AAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!”
and that’s when i threw the box of complimentary bagels outside of the second story window. they just kinda sat in silence looking at me. Sylvia, my future wife and cook, had her head down, i think she was crying. I took a deep breath and moved on…
“ahem.. well, yeah, so my name is really pronounced “eh-frah-yeen” sorta. but you all can call me Billy. it’s funner. oh, and before this, i was a webmaster for a little company called Clear Channel. I maintained a few web sites for some of their TV stations. and well, I have about 5 years experience in the industry.”
Sheryl who I then realized was under the table, said: “and something interesting about yourself?”
“oh,” i said. “well.. um…. i have a snack baggie of cheez-its in my right pocket…. for the squirrels. And I have a couple flintstone vitamins in my left, in case i get a kidney stone.”
So then I was escorted out to my office space, and Sylvia was left behind to sit through the rest of the orientation. We went up to the umpteenth floor and met Kim. She gave me a temporary security badge. We quickly visited the IT guys, on the eleventeenth floor. Kim let me know there were flavoured coffees in the break room on the eleventeenth floor. apparently, that’s the only reason to go to the eleventeenth floor. Oh, and what’s weird is that the IT area of the building looks just like the IT place where I used to work…. except completely different. The IT guy who was there was kinda flustered looking, and he was definitely not dressed ‘corporate casual’. There were like motherboards and dead computer innards lying around papers and stuff. So similar to my other job. it’s funny. no it’s not.
Anyway, we found that my computer had not yet come in, so we went back down and she left. I just sat, reading the employee handbook and stuff at my desk. well it’s not really a desk. it’s like a large cube. not a ‘cubicle’… a cube. roomy, but totally plain. But i just kicked the wall and found that my cube’s walls are smooshy and pillowlike. at least it won’t hurt if i fall and hit my head.
I sit in the market area or something. I forgot what they told me. I just know it’s behind the grey door, next to the wall. with a “CONFIDENCE” poster on it. The breakroom is directly across the hall from our cubes. Awesomely, the restroom is also across the hall. Major plus. I just may live here for the rest of my life. or at least until my contract’s up. or they find that I don’t really know what I’m doing and “let me go”. either way.
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