when i was about 13ish, i went on a trip to texas for a school convention. while there, we went to the Six Flags amusement park.
i should mention that i was a big ol’ baby who was scared of roller coasters and i didn’t want to go on any of the rides. i’d never been on a roller coaster and dagnabbit, i didn’t intend to start.
it’s kinda unfair when i think about it cuz EVERYONE wanted to go Six Flags, and of course, i was like raising my hand, “uh…i don’t mind if we DON’T go.” and everyone looks at me like they’re gonna dunk my head in the toilet (again) and leave me for dead on the side of a texan road.
Sooo….i say FINE THEN!! and they make me fork over 30 buxx for the stupid worthless ticket to the hellish place called Six Flags.
so anyway, i trio up with two students and i follow them around as they are deciding what death-trap to ride first. as they’re deciding, i’m staring up at this crazy tower thing with strings hanging down all around. On these strings are little box cages with “umbrellas” on top. these ‘umbrellas’ are flimsly plastic with openings. and the little cage boxes have PEOPLE in them!! and the cages are raised to the top of the tower and then, for the love of peanut butter, they were just DROPPED!! and i was like, holy crud! what kinda pyscho would think that’s fun!!??
oh sure, i’ll go up a billion stories and then sure, just drop me and as i scream my life away, hold up just a little before i kersplat into the ground that way i know i wasn’t REALLY gonna die right before i ACTUALLY die of a heart attack.
but i digress…
so as i’m watching the little cages drop, the dudes i’m with say: LET’S GO ON THAT ONE!! pointing to the Tower of Deathly Umbrella Boxes i was just cursing.
i of course, HEEEEEEEEECK NO! UNH-UNH!! so they’re reaching out to me trying to grab me and i’m backing up more and more, and then I feel something blocky-yet smooshy-come up behind my legs.
Just as I’m turning around to see what the crud it was, i fall into it, and realize what it was—a FRIKKIN BABY STROLLER!!
an ALL AT ONCE, i immediately sprang back up as i saw and heard a small white baby sit up and start to cry slightly. and i’m thinking “OH CRAP! I just FELL ON A BABY!!” and then by the way he/she/it/(i don’t know they all look the same) was crying, i could tell it was just startled/scared and not hurt in any way, but still i instinctually moved toward the child to see if it was alright, but as i’m doing this, i feel a big ol’ fist grab me by the front of my shirt and pull me like a rag doll. I meet up face to face with this big ol’ white dude with a face that only a mother can love, and he greets me with a gruff “HEY!!!”
I’m frikkin dumbfounded and i’m still trying to see if the baby’s alright. i look back at Mr. KKK and i’m scared out of my witz and he just pushes me away and yells GET OUTTA HERE!!!
happily, i obliged. and by the beat of my own racing heart, i jogged away to a nearby food court where i found a payphone and called my mom in california: “hey mummy, what’s up? oh nothing, i just fell on a baby.”
—-i never really found out what my two ‘friends’ were doing while they watched this. they disappeared after that….
…what a waste of thirty buxx.
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